Goodbye

Goodbyes are easy for no one.  Many prefer "see ya later" and "call me when you're around!"  Some might even go the romantic route- "au revoir."  Until we meet again.  Even if the person never comes back around, at least you tried to maintain contact.  At least you know there is a chance of seeing that person again.

Permanent goodbyes are a little more difficult.  By permanent goodbyes, I mean, if there was a euphemism for it, it would be "see you in Heaven."  This is the type of goodbye I am facing this week. 

My Grandpa (or "Pa") has been a farmer his whole life.  When my Grandma passed away, family members worried that Pa's health would fail as well.  However, the doctors said he was strong from a life of toiling on his farm.  This week, Pa has been diagnosed with pneumonia...as well as an aggressive form of cancer.  Give two days to a couple weeks to live, family members come, say goodbye, and wait.  Waiting is the hard part.  Some family members prefer not to come in at all, claiming they want to remember him the way they saw him last.  As we all know, funerals are not for the deceased--they are for the living.  You might as well just come in and say goodbye while he breathes (if you ask me).

So here's my goodbye to the man who allowed to me to catch kittens in the barn, and then convinced my mom we should keep one (or two).  To the man who let me eat (most of) the chocolate-covered raisin and peanuts on his lap, even though I was too skinny and that could not have been comfortable.  To the man who let me have two calves as pets and let me name them what I wanted (Cinderella and Crazy, if you must know).  Because I know I won't be able to think these things, yet alone, say them aloud.  Goodbyes are much too difficult for me, and I hate to cry in front of others.